This, I'm afraid, happens more times than I like to remember because when I think about it, I actually feel as if I am mourning the loss of the opportunity to sleep those moments (read: hours that feel like days).
I should be ecstatic that I've become used to no sleep--like those doctors that are on 24 hour rotations but without the pay-- because I can now function well for at least a 19-20 hour day on a mere 4-5 hours of sleep but in truth, I'm heartbroken.
Sleep (much like the nonexistent "me time") has become an elusive figment of both my imagination and my memory. Imagination and memory works well together to get me on this one because I can remember the good old days when sleeping a full night was pretty much guaranteed if I wanted it and I spend the nights in the present time imagining what it would be like to sleep like I used to sleep.
I've acquiesced with the fact that it will be a very long time until I can sleep like I used to. Soon enough there'll be little feet that scurry into my bed to snuggle throughout the night and I'm sure there'll be bad dreams to chase away with my presence.
I may never ever ever sleep like I used to, but you know what?
I know that I can handle that because I'm a mom and that's what we do. We get ok with things that can limit what we do so that our babies are happy.
My Munchkin, wide awake at 12:30 (am) because he wanted to play and try to crawl.
Oh yes - I used to be a 8-9 hour a night girl...that seems like a dream now. I also miss being able to take a nap when baby sleeps - instead I have to grade. Unlike housework, it will not wait. (Although at 6 months, the housework can't all keep waiting lol). Oh well, when they are teens they will want to sleep in, right?
ReplyDelete